Big Brother Fighters

Most people at some point in a relationship will meet someone who looks like they would be a “better” mate. However, spousal relationship includes the expectation of primariness: the commitment of both spouses to keeping each other the most important person in their lifetime. usually partners agree that primariness will include the promise that no matter what happens and what demands we set to aspire to, sexually speaking we will remain faithful.

Rather than being afflicted when you fancy somebody who looks more appropriate to you, it is usually a signal that you need to pay more attention to your current relationship. Further exploration into your relationship might expose that you are currently in a transitional change For example, birth of a child, a new job, children launched, or return to school. Infidelities are almost likely to happen during these phases in a couple’s life cycle.

In North America, 65 percent of surveyed people truly believe that sex outside one’s spousal relationship is wrong no matter what the reasons are, while 8 percent believe that extramarital is always fine. While a large bulk of people publically reject of extramarital sex, in practice it is somewhat different.

In 1953, Alfred Kinsey exposed the very interesting fact that by the time wives and husbands reach 40 years old, on average, 30 percent of them had been involved in at least one affair.Humphrey and Strong in 1976 found that 46% of all partners coming for couple therapy identified the problem as one or both partners extramarital affair. To add more fuel to the fire, Humphrey conducted a research that reveals that 46% of all couple counciling surround the issue of infidelity. Another very prevalent research conducted by Janusshowed revealed that 35% of married men and 26% of married women described to have been engaged in extramarital relationships, sexual or otherwise. Spring says Affairs affect one of every 2.7 mates, in-other-words 37% of partners. Psychologist Layton-Tholl, says the current acceptable statistic is approximately 50 percent of all men and women get occupied outside their marriages. Vaughn has an even more startling analysis of the data. She approximates that 80% of marriages will be affected by one married person who has an affair.

While the media, society, family, and friends focus on the lustful aspects of an affair - research repeatedly shows that infidelities are seldom about sex. In fact, research shows that only about 10 percent of all Affairs are for better sexual experiences. Research also reveals to us that infidelity and extramarital relationships are full with intrigue, heightened emotions and in some cases love. Of course, there is a fine line between great and bad emotions, hence it is not surprising that feelings of betrayal and fear also tend to pop-up. Most people enter matrimony believing they would never have an affair. As the numbers indicate above, many people have one or more affairs. While most people enter a relationship thinking that they would never have an affair, statistics don’t lie. People have relationships outside of their marriages.

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Kayla’s husband Jon is an expert at getting out of things he doesn’t want to do. He “forgets” to stop by the store on the way home from work when he doesn’t want to be bothered. If he doesn’t want to help Kayla with the house cleaning, he does such a poor job that she ends up redoing his part.

Outwardly, Jon is agreeable and compliant. When Kayla asks him to do something, he’ll generally say “okay” or nod in agreement. Kayla has been let down so many times now that she’ll generally grill Jon on whether he will really remember to pick up the milk on the way home or drop off the cleaning.

Each time he promises to remember, and sometimes he actually does follow through. But much of the time he never has any intention of doing what he doesn’t want to be inconvenienced by. He has found that it’s easier to say “yes” when asked and then offer an excuse.

Jon has become an expert at sabotaging Kayla’s efforts to get him to take on more responsibility with the kids and housework. He has “taught” her that he can’t be depended on and that if she wants to be sure something is done right, she’ll have to do it.

Kayla has begun thinking that she doesn’t really have two children, but instead that she really has three, counting her spouse. Behavior that was age-appropriate when Jon was five and deliberately “forgetting” to put his toys away after being asked isn’t appropriate or helpful now as an adult. In fact, a pattern of passive-aggressive behavior can destroy intimacy and happiness in a marriage.

Hidden Anger and Manipulation Create “Crazy-Making Behavior”

Individuals with passive-aggressive behavior express their anger and hostility through indirect, passive actions. Instead of saying “I don’t think it’s fair that you expect me to clean the bathroom,” he ( or she) doesn’t protesthe just never gets around to doing it.

Then, when the mate eventually explodes after numerous frustrating experiences, the passive-aggressive partner just looks at the mate calmly, making her feel like the crazy one. He always has rationalizations and excuses ready and never takes responsibility or admits he’s at fault in any way. He always blames someone or something else.

He can be so convincing that sometimes the partner will find herself apologizing for getting so upset with him. Thus, the manipulation comes full circle and now the spouse still has the original problem on her shouldersnot enough help from her husband. He has “won” because he knows that he can get off the hook again whenever he needs to.

Sarcasm and Sabotage Can Also Be Indicators

The passive-aggressive spouse knows the weak spots of his partner and is often practiced in using sarcastic and cruel remarks under the guise of “humor.” He’ll say that the mate is too serious or doesn’t have a sense of humor if she objects, but the “humor” is barbed with hostility and criticismanother indirect way of getting back at a partner instead of expressing feelings directly and looking for solutions.

Many wives have had their diets sabotaged by a passive-aggressive husband who suddenly started bringing home candy or encouraging the wife to have dessert “just this one time.” Fear of the spouse becoming too attractive and being noticed by other men is generally at the root of this type of passive-aggressive behavior.

On the surface, the husband may sound supportive, but he is really working to sabotage the wife’s efforts to improve her looks and wellbeing. He is threatened by it and doesn’t want her to succeed.

What Can You Do?

Since the goal of passive-aggressive individuals is to resist demands from others, frustration and anger follows them wherever they goespecially in a marriage relationship.

They are often critical, negative, “forgetful,” sullen, resentful, and complaining. In addition, they are procrastinators and their performance on tasks they don’t want to do is substandard.

The following recommendations provide a starting place for a frustrated partner:

1. When your spouse makes a snide remark or uses sarcasm or barbed humor, calmly tell him that you don’t find that way of communicating feelings acceptable. Stop what you’re doing and sit down with him.

State that he must be having some strong feelings to have made a remark like that and you’d rather he just come right out and tell you what he’s feeling.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore the barbs or pretend you didn’t hear them when you did. Confront him with what he’s doing but without being drawn into an argument or becoming sidetracked by the excuses.

2. Know that when your intuition or “gut feeling” is that you’re being manipulated or taken advantage of by the excuses and rationalizations or lack of response, you probably are right.

Trust your intuition about this. It will help you to resist falling into the trap of taking on blame that’s not yours and thinking that it’s “all you.”

3. When your spouse uses passive-aggressive behavior, state what you see happening and how confusing that is for you. Tell him that it’s harming your marriage relationship for him not to be direct with you.

Say that what he is doing is dishonest and manipulative and that you see through it, and if he values the marriage, he’ll make an effort to change.

4. This is one time to take a tough stand on the necessity for marriage counseling. There are many issues that the two of you need to work on, including communication and anger.

5. If your spouse absolutely refuses to go to counseling, then make an appointment for yourself. Individual counseling can give you the resources and strength to confront your spouse’s passive-aggressive behavior and pave the way for more direct communication.

6. Remind yourself that you didn’t cause the passive-aggressive behavior. It’s not your fault. This pattern was in place before you married.

If your husband exhibits this behavior with you, you can bet that you’re not the only one who sees this side of him. You can suggest counseling, but in the final analysis, it’s your husband’s problem.

7. The decisions you have to make are how to respond to the passive-aggressive behavior and what to do if your husband refuses to change or seek help.

The counselor you are working with can help you to handle these hurdles and to decide if a marital separation might be an appropriate way to get your husband’s full attention if nothing else works.

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can sign up for a free weekly marriage advice newsletter. Dr. Wasson offers telephone and email coaching to spouses who want to overcome marriage problems and create a rewarding, loving marriage.

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In a recently conducted investigation it was revealed that exclusive pieces of underclothing are positively the swank items sure to guide modern women to experience themselves as being winning. Being the front-runner in the deluxe nightwear department, Myla is a British house domiciled in London, England dedicated to empowering modern women to feel stunning and self-assured in exclusive lady’s nightwear. Myla’s range of products spans witching hold-up stockings, and, beyond, padded balconettes, pretty sleeping raiments including, also, the most suggestive sleeping room clitoral stimulation gear.

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Feel so pretty with designer luxury underwear from Myla.

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The games played at weddings can be a big part of any great
wedding ceremony. Every culture has its own tradition of wedding
games, and these games can be a great reflection on the culture,
and on the individual couple.

Planning the wedding games is an important, but often
overlooked, part of planning the wedding ceremony. It is not
hard to see why this would be so.

== There Are So Many Things Involved With Planning The
Perfect Wedding ==

There are so many things involved in planning a wedding, from
getting the perfect flowers to finding the perfect dress to
ordering just the right wedding cake. It can be easy for little
things, like planning the wedding games and choosing the best
wedding favors, to get lost in the shuffle.

== Coming Up With Great Wedding Games ==

Many people who have never planned a wedding before are unsure
about the proper wedding games to use, or where to find
information on wedding games.

One great place to get ideas is, of cause, at other weddings.
Think back to the weddings you have attended, and the games you
have played at those weddings. Think about the games that were
fun, and put your own spin on them for the wedding you are
planning.

It is also a good idea to ask friends and family members about
games they enjoyed at weddings they intended.

Many of the games used at weddings are similar, but there are
always some unique and interesting games as well, particularly
in weddings held in other religions or cultures.

== The Internet Is An Incredible Source ==

And of course the internet is an incredible resource for
researching all kinds of wedding planning tools, including some
incredible wedding games.

Be sure to peruse the many web sites and newsgroups devoted to
wedding planning. These internet resources are some excellent
sources of information on all kinds wedding games.

The beauty of the internet is that it allows you to quickly
communicate with other people who have planned or are planning
their own weddings, and share tips, tricks and secrets for
wedding games and other aspects of putting together the perfect
wedding.

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Online dating has become increasingly more popular as people’s everyday lives are busy and they just don’t have the time or the social networks to meet people the old fashioned way…through friends and co-workers

Is Cyber Sex Adultery?

The anonymous nature of the internet provides a fertile playground for the lonely or the curious to discuss their secret fantasies with others of a like mind in safety. These encounters provide safety because the chance of a partner finding out about the interaction isn’t that high. By using a screen name, no one knows who you really are. You can lie about your physical appearance, age, race, gender or anything else you want to lie about.

Most internet affairs start in chat rooms where people can talk in real time by typing in text messages. Chat rooms are public forums where people an express opinions. Most allow members to have private conservations as well. Since a user can just disappear from the chat room forever, most people are willing to be much more open and honest about their thoughts, feelings and especially their sexual fantasies.

What starts off as an innocent conversation can escalate into an intensely emotional relationship that can be passionate and even physical by masturbating while interacting with the other individual. While most of these relationships only exist in cyber space, some do go offline and turn into real affairs.

Here are some shocking facts.

• One-third of divorce litigation is caused by online affairs.

• Only 46% of men believe that online affairs are adultery.

• Adult websites generate over $1 Billion a year in revenue.

• 8-10 percent of Internet users become hooked on cyber sex.

Self Help Magazine did an online survey about the subject. The survey results are mixed.

The consensus seems to be that if you are in a relationship and need cyber sex, there are already problems in your relationship. Most people seen to agree that cyber sex can be harmful to existing relationships if it is an activity that is hidden from a partner and lied about. But whether it is considered adultery seems to depend on the individual’s background and religious beliefs.

Here are some tips on how to tell if your partner is cheating on or offline. Beware if your partner is:

1. Works a lot of overtime - Enabling them to meet their lover after work.

2. Uses the Internet excessively especially if they are defensive about what they are doing - A way for women to meet men in chat rooms or dating sites.

3. Has a lot of unaccountable Hours - this is the time frame to conduct surveillance.

4. Hides the phone bill - The #1 way to find out who the lover is.

5. Says “It’s your imagination” - This is what is told to you when you’re too close to the truth.

6. Receives hang up phone calls - The paramour is calling your house to speak with your spouse.

7. No longer interested in sex - Saving their emotion for their lover.

8. No longer wearing a wedding ring - A sign telling everyone “I am single”.

9. Has new sexual techniques - What your spouse learned from their lover.

10. Says “I need my space” - When your spouse moves to the next stage.

Online Investigation Network (http://www.onlineinvestigation.net) offers instant detective tools for people searches, background checks, criminal records, phone numbers lookup and other investigative self-help tools.

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You’ve tried on a number of dresses, but always leave in a huff. It seems impossible, we know! You’re dying to find “the one” that will make everyone’s head turn at your wedding ceremony, right? Of course you are! Here are a few tips that will make the challenge of finding the perfect wedding gown into a pleasing task:

The Tall Bride’s Search for a Wedding Gown

Tall and slim? Consider yourself very lucky. Most bridal gowns are cut for ladies just like you! The tall slender gal can wear just about anything and look wonderful. If you have a smaller bust, try to increase the appearance of your bust-line with a gown that gives you a boost.

The Hourglass Shaped Bride’s Search for a Wedding Gown

A woman with a full bust and full hips should embrace strapless wedding gowns. They look fantastic on full figured ladies. Have you considered a two piece wedding gown? Believe it or not, the separate pieces will accentuate your best assets.

The Petite Bride’s Search for a Wedding Gown

Since you’re small framed, you don’t want to get carried away with ‘poofy’ full dresses. It’s all too common for beautiful brides who are smaller than 5′4″ to select such wedding gowns. Although a full, layered wedding gown looks beautiful on the rack, a smaller person can look lost within the gown’s many layers. Consider off-the-shoulder wedding gowns and skirts with an A-line.

Jen Carter is owner of My Wedding Blog, a free wedding planning guide about weddings. This article can be found in our bridal beauty category.

You may publish our articles on your website only if you do not edit the article in any way, and include all html as direct links to our site.

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Giving a speech after 50 years of marriage would seem to be really easy, but expressing your emotions after 50 years doesn’t always get easier, sometimes it gets more difficult because the emotion becomes stronger, deeper, and more complicated. Whether you are the husband or wife or a dear friend that would like to make a speech, it can be difficult to find the right words to say that encapsulate a love that has been able to withstand 50 years of marriage.

If you are either the husband or the wife, you should thank all of the guests for coming to celebrate 50 years of marriage with you. You should then express your gratitude to your spouse for hanging in there with you for all of these years. Share a story or some feelings with your spouse and your friends and family about a particularly inspiring time, loving time, difficult time, or a moment of levity in the 50 years of marriage that you think is appropriate. You can present your spouse with a gift during your speech as well, which is a great way to end your golden anniversary speech!

Starting a speech can be very difficult, so the best way to start off is with a brief introduction of yourself if you are not the husband or the wife. For instance, you don’t need to give your entire background you can simply say, “Hi, I’m Jane. I am a long time friend of Bill and Nancy and am so glad to be here today.” This will give the other guests that are at the party some idea of who you are and why you would want to give a speech at all!

50 years of marriage, what do you say? If you are married, thank the couple for being an inspiration to you and your spouse. Thank them for sticking together and being two people that everyone could count on. You can tell the couple that you hope that your marriage can be as strong after 50 years as you know that theirs is now. If you have one, share a cute story that you think demonstrates the strength and beauty of the couple’s love. You can also present the couple with a gift, a framed picture, or a framed piece of scripture or a poem during your speech. The point of the speech is just to convey how happy you are for the couple for sticking together for 50 years, as well as to express what an inspiration they are to married people everywhere.

Closing the speech can be the most difficult part after starting! The best thing you can do is say congratulations and that you hope to celebrate many more anniversaries, and thank them for sharing their day with you. The closing needn’t be anything extravagant, and there will likely be someone that will follow you in their congratulating the married couple for their 50th wedding anniversary.

Article by James Nardel, expert author at EasyWeddingToasts.com. For more tips and information on wedding speeches and toasts and free wedding speech examples for entire wedding party visit http://www.easyweddingtoasts.com.

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A sex toy company asked over 170 chicks in October what their best adult toy was along with other personal questions. It was that the most best adult toy for chicks was the vibrator, and they just liked it! UK women were so excited by the idea of a huge vibrator that many of them would use it straight after coming home from work. The best kinds of vibrator were the Jessica bunny vibrators as they help to stimulate the clitoris as well as inserting into the flower. The other find the new retailer found out was that the sex toy users just loved using their adult toy on a daily basis by themselves. If the UK women were in a good relationship they would use it with their loving men. The other most popular adult toy was the exciting dong. Dildo dongs are similar to vibrators except they do not have batteries or vibrate. Dildo dongs come in all shapes and sizes from two inches to 12 inches. They can come with suction cups to have a super experience hands free and can easily attach to a bath or toilet set. Dildo dongs have been a firm best seller since the 70’s and looks like they will be around for a long time. If you enjoy sexual toysyou should try it with your favourite Double Ended Dildos A sex toy company found the best way to pleasure a women is to buy them both a vibrator and a dildo.

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There are many trends we are constantly watching in America regarding marriage. We watch how many kids are born out of wedlock, how many divorces there are and now we are seeing a new emerging trend. That is the gay and lesbian community movement to make gay marriage legal.

Unfortunately there is a problematic fringe element with in the gay and lesbian community, which is completely vocal and even goes farther than that with threats, slander and even extortion type tactics. But when an activist in the gay and lesbian community is approached on this subject they often say things like;

“In fact, if you do study trends, you know that social change is most often created by “the fringe”.”

Indeed a fringe creates synergy and the synergy follows creating a trend. But the fringe also can be a downfall or create a negative trend. (negative from your perspective, positive from the Christian Hard Right). I kind of am wondering why the G & L Community is allowing the combative, threatening, slandering and lawbreaking Homosexual fringe to help the Christian Right deny the G & L Community their goal.

Thus my comments are relevant. Just read any Blog thread on the gay marriage debate and you will see some very angry people on the other side too, mostly due to their Biblical belief systems or religious leaders telling them what to think. Nevertheless, I can see it all plain as day, maybe because it does not affect me. Controversy and Chaos and all the mass media hysteria of sound and fury in between is of course interesting, but in the end seems silly considering the obvious future of it all. The gay fringe is fighting back and the Christian right is not letting up. Let’s hope we do not get any more reverse hate crimes? Consider this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

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